We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
This baby is an asshole
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
