trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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