i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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