no, he came in my armpit
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
