Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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