Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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