You're completely useless in the revolution.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
