Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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