He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
