My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
