what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
