My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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