yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
