did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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