i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
