did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
