Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
