in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
