Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
