Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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