the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
