If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
