I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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