The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
