The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
