i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
