This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
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