On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
