Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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