you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
When are your genitals available?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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