Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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