the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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