She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
