Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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