I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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