my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
