he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
NoShamevember. You game?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
