mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
