I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
