Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
