STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
