what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
