Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
