My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
The air taste purple.
Randomize
