grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
