Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
