i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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