This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
