never play flip cup with pint glasses
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
