If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
