Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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